A good girl gone bad? September 30, 2007

My goodness. Waking up with the worst hangover ever, didn’t feel as rewarding as I had anticipated last night. Hangover or not, it was all worth it. Last night was one of the funnest and most memorable ones in my life. We had a pre x-mas party (yes, in September!) with my work buddies and bosses. The event being veiled with secrecy and speculation, one could just feel tingles all around one’s tummy when walking on the streets of Helsinki, trying to figure out where we were heading. A paper cup full of glögi in one hand and a cup of champagne in the other sure made it more exciting!

We ended up taking a cruise outside Helsinki, eating and drinking in fancy conditions, sharing Christmas presents and listening to jolly x-mas tunes. When the cruise was over, we headed to a karaoke bar, and drank our nights away. I look at the pictures taken at the bar, and I seriously do not have recollection of some of the pictures I’m in…perhaps it wasn’t such a great idea mixing shots, cider, drinks, champagne and wine all together in one go. I somehow did manage to sing a couple of songs, and for the first time ever (simply due to the amount of alcohol in my blood), I didn’t feel stage fright at all.

Our night took us to another club where we danced and partied hard. What a night! I had an incredible time! Coming home at five in the morning was refreshing for a change. The night was perfect thanks to my amazing bosses and co-workers. I may never want to leave the job, because they’re such a great bunch! And just how often do you go to your bosses’ apartment to enjoy a glass of apple juice at 4 in the morning?

A night to remember, for sure.

Oh, right, and I’ve become a bad girl. And I thought I was over kissing total strangers and all that stuff…

Mentally worn out? September 27, 2007

I haven’t had time to sit down and write about something. Also, I haven’t really felt like writing about anything. The days keep rolling on, and I find myself in the middle of the somewhat familiar routine: lectures, work, friends, and sleep. I feel like I have tons of energy although I do admit it has been much more stressful and hard both studying and working simultaneously. I am pretty pumped about being back at uni after the summer; it’s great having to have to work intellectually and mentally after a long break of not really doing anything challenging with my brains.

But being always on the go and running from lectures to work and from work to bed and from a meeting to another one, wears one out. I feel a bit tired mentally. Not that I wouldn’t have energy to do anything, but I feel like I need some time just for relaxation and hanging out with myself at home. Not doing anything. Just chilling and taking it easy, watching stupid shows on TV, and munching on something enjoyable.

That’s exactly what I intend to do tonight. I honestly can’t remember when I had time to do absolutely nothing! So I guess tonight’s a special night then. Next week (well, actually tomorrow..) it’s back to reality: essays to return, articles to read, long days at work, meetings, and cramming for an exam.

I guess I need to take the most out of tonight. Harvinaista herkkua, as they say in Finnish.

Maybe One Day September 17, 2007

“Sattuu, sydämeen sattuu, kipu työntyy huoneisiin näihin. Sataa, sydämeen sataa, viima kylmentää ikkunat jäihin. Vaikka tahdonkin muualle kulkea, vaikka haluankin sinut pois sulkea, taas askeleet tutuille kulmille käy, taas jälkiäs kuljen vaikkei sua näy.

Olen sairaaksi tullut mä sinuun, näihin kipeiden tunteiden hetkiin. Olet haavana palanut minuun, öisiin salaisiin varkaiden retkiin.

Polttaa sydäntäin polttaa, tuli muistojen seiniä nuolee. Viiltää, sydäntäin viiltää, itku haavoihin ikävän kuolee. Vaikka katkerat sanat taas kuulla sain, vaikka lähtös jälkeen varjosi olin vain. Silti unohdan totuuden päivin öin, joka hetki sua lähelleni ikävöin.

Olen sairaaksi tullut mä sinuun, näihin kipeiden tunteiden hetkiin. Olet haavana palanut minuun, öisiin salaisiin varkaiden retkiin.”

My new vocal teacher gave me this song today. We’re only concentrating on musical tunes because that is what suits my voice the best, and that’s what I enjoy the most. The new teacher is really good. Although I’ve taken vocal classes for more than 6 years now, I’m learning new things during each and every class. After singing this song today (just try to imagine the most beautiful and touching melody), she asked what my plans were for the future. I started talking about my studies at the University, when she cut in and said that I should start auditioning for musicals! That a voice like mine, which is, according to her, “perfect” for musicals, shouldn’t remain “unused” in the musical field. Maybe it was the emotion I was able to put into this song (I could relate to the lyrics somehow..) or maybe it just suited my voice well, I don’t know. But it did come to me as a surprise that she really genuinely believed that I could actually make it, if I wanted to.

I guess it all then comes down to me. Do I want this enough to start working on it every day? I mean even dreaming of singing and acting in a musical is more than just having a “perfect” voice for musicals -there are tons of other things one must be able to do, such as to be able to dance and act.

I guess nothing is impossible in the end of the day. If my teacher, who is a musical specialist herself, believes in me, maybe I could sing in a musical. One day.

This just in September 9, 2007

Just booked a flight to Toronto for myself. I’m leaving on January 1st at 6:50 in the morning, so I guess I can go to the airport straight from New Year’s celebrations! My return flight is on June 24th. That means I have 6 whole months in Canuck Land! Yay for that!

Oh, and by the way… September 7, 2007

..I met someone. He is adorable.

Me like!

Too early to say what may or may not come out of it all, but I honestly like him a lot. For the first time in such a long time, I feel little tingles inside my stomach when I think of him, or when I see him. He is a great guy and has lots of potential, he’s someone I’ve been looking for. Keeping my fingers crossed -I have a good feeling about this.

Could I finally have what I’ve always dreamed of?

Feels like home… September 7, 2007

New York State of Mind -theme days have started at where I work. Wandering between the shelves and making a visit to Behnford’s, an all-American grocery store, felt like coming home. Sticking my fingers into the soft and smooth peanut butter I bought, was pure heaven. Didn’t remember it tasted that good. Tomorrow night we’ll have a pancake -night at my parent’s -and maple syrup will be on the menu as well.

Feeling this excited about all the american and canadian stuff is a good sign concerning the upcoming exchange. I guess I’m trying to make myself realize that I’m actually going to live there pretty soon. And doing it this way isn’t that bad…

I hope that when I go grocery shopping in Toronto for the first time, I will be flushed with the same homely feeling that I experienced today.

When you’re gone… September 2, 2007

…the pieces of my heart are missing you…

Never before have I said goodbye to 4 of my friends in just one week. It is surreal to hop from one farewell party to another, to try to say something unique to the person leaving, and to see that person for the last time before she or he is gone. A strange exchange boom has overtaken my circle of friends, myself included. Some have gone abroad for good, some for a little while. But it’s all the same when they’re gone.

It hasn’t really dawned on me yet, that a huge part of my friends have relocated in the last couple of days. One now lives in Sweden, one in London, one just moved to Barcelona, and one is on her way to Paris. Added to this, I still have a couple of farewell parties to attend. Saying goodbye to people and seeing them make preparations and plans for their year abroad has made me think about my own up-coming exchange. In less than 4 months I’ll be the one saying goodbye and throwing a farewell party. How surreal is that?