What if I don’t wanna go home? Last night I got the first anxiety attack – it was the first time I actually thought about the consequences of having to return to Finland. And what triggered it all?Someone special saying something about an insignificant T-shirt that has come to mean something to me in the last few months. “You know you’re taking that with you when you go back home, right?” No. I didn’t know, nor did I want to think about going home and leaving all of this behind. In some ways it would be easier just staying here, but I do acknowledge the fact that I eventually have to return. It’s not that I don’t want to, don’t get me wrong: I do look forward to seeing all my dear friends and my family, but there are things here that I’d rather not leave behind.
Nevertheless, I have to keep on living in the present and not worry about the future right now. I still believe that no matter what, things will go the way they’re meant to, and that nothing but good will come out of all of this. And if there are people in my life that I cannot leave behind, then it’s that simple. Then I won’t leave them behind. After all, the world is a small place.
