The last week or so has been a haze: Toronto still feels too close and yet I’m fully engaged in my life here in Finland. Time has been running like mad, and so have I. A few days at my parent’s, the move in to my new crib, and then back to work. Everything is the same, but yet it isn’t. Because I’m not. I’m doing familiar things and working in a familiar environment, still nothing feels like it used to, it’s something inside that has changed, I think. It’s still hard to think of those good times and memories in Toronto because it was really just days ago that I saw some of those people, did some of those things or went to some of those places. I can pretend to be living this life here in Helsinki, but I’m still so living in Toronto and missing every little thing there.
Although I feel dead tired after 5 days of work (it was a pleasant surprise, though, to be back and realize I could easily find the routine and that I could still make damn good coffee 
), I feel positive and happy that I’ve had things to do. Although my place is awesome and roomy, I don’t feel like sitting home by myself, because then I start to think of Toronto and the things I’m missing the most. But considering the fact that I’ve only been back for 10 days, I’m doing well. Culture-shock is definitely been shocking and maybe that’s why I’ve also felt so tired and sort of blah in the last few days. But on the other hand, I’ve been more than happy to see that there are many people that have missed me and have wanted to get together and see me asap. That, if something, has made me feel very happy and content although it doesn’t take away the sadness I’m still carrying around.
But the good thing about this all is that I now have a reason to be here and that’s why I intend to stay positive and start my life anew here in my new place: I need to finish my studies so that one day I can return to Toronto. I don’t know when, but I’ll tell you when I do.
