Life, as I used to know it – studying for exams, writing essays, working evenings and weekends, going to student parties and meetings – is over. Period. No more deadlines or worrying about grades, no more student discounts or “free” money from the government. The courses have been passed, the grades given, the essays handed in, and the money well spent. As I finished my few-month-long job at a local high school and finally officially graduated from uni and got the MA degree, I’m sort of at a crossroads. I could go this way or that. No more am I too worried about short days and loads of responsibilities, or working life as such. I’m mostly worried about finding a good job, or, not being employed and being unemployed. I’ve sent out tens of application letters and cvs to numerous places, but I am getting a little discouraged after receiving no interviews. What I’m mostly worried about is that I won’t find anything, I’ll find myself unemployed, bored, broke and unsatisfied.
As this blog demonstrates, I’ve always been lucky in terms of getting what and where I want. I’ve been on exchange, I’ve done an internship in a respected place, I’ve graduated, studied my dream field and found the perfect man for me. Things have always fallen into their place and I strongly feel that I’ve been guided into the right direction. I still believe things will work out and that I will eventually find a (dream) job, but for now, I can’t shake off the insecurity within me. The reality is different than before, because there is no back-up plan, no more possibilities to take on more student loan or get money elsewhere – it is a reality in which I have to find a job or else I can’t pay the rent or pay the bills… and that’s kinda scary.
I wish that my search for the job will eventually go as smoothly as everything else has – that when I least expect it, I will be pleasantly surprised. Keeping my fingers crossed – would appreciate it if you kept yours crossed for me, too.
I will! Besides, I’m condifent you’ll find something. As you said yourself, things tend to work out and look at this way: now you have the chance to catch your breath and really weigh your options. Life will lead you somewhere new and exciting, I’m sure of it. Keep your chin up, dear!