I Feel Good June 9, 2009

As I started my exercise -routine more than three months ago, I’m not sure I believed that I could actually achieve what I have achieved in the past months. With the help of my personal trainer I have found a newly-discovered passion for sports and a motivation to care for myself. I’ve always tried this before, but the only thing I’ve managed to do so far is to work out once in a while and pay attention to my eating. This time around, however, I have fully engaged myself in a 5-6 times a week routine of jogging, indoor cycling, badminton and working out at the gym. As I have bought myself adequate gear and not slacked off at all, the exercise has definitely payed off. And what a change it has been for me! I feel better about myself, I like the way I look now, I feel good about my body and my appearance and I’m satisfied with what I have done to myself! Aside from feeling good and proud of myself, it has been amazing to notice how my physical condition has bettered, how I can survive jogs and cycling sessions I would never before have survived. After looking into my nutrition, I feel like I know what’s good for me and what is totally unnecessary. I sleep better, I have more energy and my skin looks good. Besides all these incredibly big changes for the better, most of all, I love that I have finally found a long-term motivation for sports. The motivation I have never had before. Now I know that no matter what, I can always squeeze in a short jog or take time to go to the gym -not because I need to, but because I want to and because I feel better afterwards.

Although I’ve been pretty happy with myself for the last few years, never before have I felt more excited after buying a new pair of jeans for myself: after losing so many kilos in the last few months, I fit into small clothes, and damn these new jeans look good on me

As if this happened before… April 14, 2009

Sitting in the tram this morning, listening to City and Colour on my iPod, walking home in the crisp spring weather, listening to birdsing and looking at the city in its hustle and bustle. What a deja vú. Reminded me of Toronto exactly one year back. Sitting on the streetcar towards Bathurst. Listening to the same songs. Having that same smile on my face, the same hustle and bustle around me.

Good times.

It’s been a long time coming… March 31, 2009

I guess I needed a little break from writing and as I have always thought, one should not write if one is not up for it. This doesn’t only apply to my blog, but I can also see this principle sometimes too well in action when it comes down to writing my thesis…

Anyways, I’ve done some soul-searching and put bits and pieces together. I’ve found a new interest in working out and I’ve payed close attention to my nutrition. Although I’ve heard a few voices of doubt from people as to why I’m doing this and as to why I shouldn’t do this and that, I’m sticking with my routine, because it makes me feel good about myself and I can see myself improving. It’s so awarding to see that you can run more each week, or that you can lift heavier weights or when you discover new tactics at badminton. And besides, I know my body and my mind, and as long as I’m enjoying myself, I do what I do. And no counter-arguments what-so-ever. There.

Otherwise life has been busy. I sometimes feel exhausted from all the things I’m doing, but on the other hand, it’s a good kind of exhaustion. Life feels vibrant, exciting, and good. I’ve got a few gigs coming up, one at a club and the other with a symphony orchestra, so I’ve got it going good. The spring is approaching and besides work, working on the thesis, and working out, I have family and friends, and someone to occasionally cuddle with. Not complaining at all.

Next week I fly to London for a few days with friends and in August I’m most likely off to Washington D.C. for an internship at the Finnish Embassy… life is exciting!

I feel like within the last few months, I’ve looked at life from many sides, from up and down and right and left. I feel like I’ve learned a lot, and gained even more. I feel like I’m actually starting to know life a bit. And that’s a good way to start the spring!

Something old, something new… February 15, 2009

Life is a rollercoaster ride, they say. And so it is. I’ve got firsthand experience of it, that’s for sure. But as they also say, if it wouldn’t be fore the valleys, we wouldn’t see the peaks either. So whatever all of the lows in my life denote, I’m sure they are as significant, or even more, than the highs.

Since my success in the relationship-jungle has been a bit on the unlucky side, I’ve tried to concentrate my energy into other things. I celebrated my 25th bday with a bunch of really good friends, and it sure turned out into a night of mayhem. It is kind of interesting how things that you sort of wished for a year ago might have come true a year later…I guess there is a time for everything. Anyways, a good bday.

I’ve also put my mind into music. I had the privilege of doing this gig with a symphony orchestra. Musical tunes, lots of listeners, an orchestra of 60 (!!), and me standing on the stage, in the centre of it all. That was something. When I was standing there in front of all those people, singing with my whole being -I felt like that’s exactly where I belong. I’m happy I did it, I got really good feedback and more gigs… so maybe this is a start of something new. Maybe at last, I will make it…

Just now that I’ve settled back into Finland, I’m, again, looking at the possibility of moving out of the country. I was interviewed for a position at the cultural department of the Finnish Embassy in Washington, D.C. It would be a three-month internship…and now I’m keeping my fingers crossed. As much as I want to go back to T.O., I feel like I need new experiences, new places to discover, new challenges. This would be that for sure. And who wouldn’t want to live next to Barack Obama, for God’s sake!

As far as my personal life is concerned, I’m having fun and enjoying myself for now. This newly discovered freedom feels good and I feel on top of the game. So there, life is what it is and meanwhile, you should have fun and enjoy it and not worry too much. And that’s what I intend to do for now. Immerse a little bit of that Torontonian attitude that I had a year ago, and see where it leads me.

From 08 to 09 January 1, 2009

The first day of the year 2009 and I’m feeling pretty good. The year got off to a good start and so I have high expectations concerning the rest of the year. Hopefully this new year will bring me on to new adventures and to new places, bring me and my loved ones happiness and joy each and every day!

Usually I’ve had a certain idea or a kind of feeling what the next year might or might not have in store for me. You know, the usual “I’ll be in school”, or “I’ll continue working at the coffee shop”, or something like that. This year, everything feels different in that I don’t really know where this year will lead me. First time in my life, I’m kind of at a crossroads: the only thing I “know” about 2009 is that I’ll be working on my gradu and hopefully doing my internship, but as far as other things are concerned, I have no clue where I’ll be or what I’ll be say six months from now. But, for the first time, this uncertainty doesn’t bother me, but it rather feels good not to know exactly what the new year will bring.

Year 2008 was phenomenal. If year 2006 was awesome and 2007 incredible, 2008 was heavenly. So many things, big and little, have made year 2008 into the best year of my life so far, but it would take me hours to recount each and every memory and moment that made it so good. So to sum it up quickly, year 2008 consisted largely of good times, travelling, new acquaintances, new challenges, newly-discovered independence, romance, parties, and new family members. It’s always remembered by Toronto, all the people, moments, and months there; Canada and the road trip; birth of my nephew Nooa; my moving back to Finland and settling back into the Finnish society; friendships; and what not. After 2008, I’m wiser because now I know Canadian indie music, because Toronto is my second home and I know my way around the city, I know about wine, about gradu-writing, about vegan food and about the Canadian university life. I’ve been to New York and I’ve driven around the East coast of Canada. I’ve become more me and I’m not afraid to show my true colours.

Every year I’ve wondered if the new year can surpass the previous one. For several years, I’ve been amazed to see that it has, so I’m not wrong to say that for sure, year 2009 will be even better than year 2008. Like I said, NYE was just a start for all good things and so the next 364 days must be out of this world!

The Road Goes On… December 29, 2008

Wow. It’s been a while since the last post. Due to numerous reasons, I just haven’t had the urge to write down anything what-so-ever. Maybe it’s been the fact that I despise writing at the moment due to my gradu, or maybe I’ve been avoiding writing down my feelings, because I haven’t had the gut to confront those feelings and emotions just yet. The last couple of months have surely been a downhill-ride for me, but I’ve also learned a lot, and I’m not complaining. After all, aren’t those ups and downs exactly things that make life worth living? And if there weren’t any downs, there wouldn’t be any ups either.

Coming back from Toronto to Finland for the second time within a few months was rougher than I thought. But as I don’t like to mellow in depression or angst, I went on living the daily routines and felt good after such an awesome trip overseas. I still sometimes wish I was there instead of here, but I’ve accepted the fact that life is good as it is right now. There’s no need to make life more miserable by living in the past and wishing to be someplace else. Anyways, things don’t always go as one wishes, and as people have different kinds of expectations, wishes, and dreams, it’s hard to make them meet, at least when there’s an entire Ocean between you two. I’m moving on and the road leads me on to new adventures. If, at some point, I find myself reminiscing, I’m welcome to do so. And if, at some point, I find myself getting off at Crawford Avenue, it’s okay, too. But for now, things are better this way. My needs and hopes and dreams need to be fulfilled, and that won’t happen if I linger on too long.

Life teaches a hell of a lot and so it has within the last twelve months or so. I wouldn’t trade any second of it for anything, none of the ups or the downs. I appreciate everything life has given me and I’m ready and willing to get some more! So bring it on, life, because I’m willing to take the next step and follow where the road leads me this time around.

New York, New York… February 17, 2008

My long time dream became true this past week. My friend and I took the Greyhound bus to New York City and spent amazing 4 days in the city!! My God, I was actually there in the middle of everything!!!

The pleasant 10-hour bus drive in itself was quite an experience. The bus stopped at Niagara Falls, Buffalo and Syracuse before stopping at New York. Oh, and the customs. We had to get off the bus with all of our luggage and explain why we were going to the States and for how long and what we were bringing with us and where we were staying, and numerous other things. Then they also searched our bags (for alcohol and drugs??), and finally we were on our way to New York City. It was a night bus, but I hardly got any sleep, because of all the stops and the noise and the cold and the uncomfortable seats. Oh well, but we were heading to NYC nevertheless!

When we arrived in New York, I was amazed. The bus was driving towards the city in the morning sunrise (which made the sky red), and far ahead in the horizon you could see the skyline stretching all around you. Manhattan was in front of us, and it looked surreal. It’s something you always see on TV, but this time around I was actually there! The bus stopped at the Port Authority bus terminal, which was literally steps away from Times Square. The city was alive and busy already at 8 am, and we walked in the lights of NY with our mouths open and eyes gazing up at the incredibly high buildings. Now I’ve been to Piccadilly Circus in London and thought it was pretty amazing. But compared to Times Square…it’s really small…

Our hostel was on 7th and 45th, less than a 100 metres from Times Square… not bad. I slept well, although throughout the night there was noise from the streets. The city seems never to sleep, and it is one of those cities where you cannot really find peace and quiet easily. The traffic, the people, the noises -it was all very loud.

For the first few days the weather wasn’t the best: the first day it snowed, and the second day it was really raining, or pouring down cats and dogs. Nevertheless, we walked outside and I got myself a pair of rainboots (yes, it seemed that everyone had them in New York), and was good to go. Felt like a little kid again, with my awesome boots… Nevertheless, we managed to see and do a lot in 4 days. We walked around Times Square a lot, trying to take in all the sights and smells of the famous area, then walked in midtown Manhattan and did some shopping at Macy’s and some other stores. We also visited the Metropolitan Museum and the Modern Art Museum (to which we got FREE tickets from a nicely-dressed man!!), and took a quick look at the Museum of the American Indian in lower Manhattan. We rode the subway a couple of times, checked out the UN building and walked past Central Park (which, in February, was pretty harsh and dissapointing). One day we took the subway to lower Manhattan and checked out the Statue of Liberty from afar, and then walked all the way back to our hostel in midtown through Wall Street, the WTC ruins, Soho, and so on. It was quite a nice walk, indeed. We got to see a lot of the city, those charming little apartment buildings and different kinds of neighbourhoods.

The best thing, at least for me, was Broadway. We went to see Rent, a musical about young people in New York. Although it was so different from the Phantom of the Opera in London, I loved it!! The singers were breathtakingly good, and the show was energetic and fun. I might write a separate entry about the show itself, but WOW, it was awesome!!

Besides all of this, the food was pretty good, too. I fell in love with all the delis in every corner of every street. Cheap sandwiches, salads, and what have you all day long… All in all, the trip was great. I definitely loved the city, but I wouldn’t recommend visiting it in February. I look forward to my visit there in June, because then it should be easier walking around and just enjoying the street life etc. Although New York City is HUGE, I was amazed to see how easy it was getting from one place to another by foot. The streets are numbered (a rather simplistic, but good system) and the city is really constructed in a square-sort of style. Everything works pretty well, although the size of the city is big and the amount of people in it is amazing. Can’t wait to get back.

Coming home felt good, though. Toronto feels small compared to NYC, but it is MY home nevertheless. Living in a city with less than 10 million people suits me better than a city with a lot more…

I’m getting old February 5, 2008

Yeah, it’s my birthday today. As always, I don’t really feel any different. Nor does the fact that it’s my special day today, make me jump up and down with enthusiasm. I guess that’s just due to the fact that I am getting older, and getting older at my age isn’t that fancy or great anymore. It’s just one step closer to being 30 (which, in itself, is SCARY!)

My 24th birthday party here in Toronto, though, was a night to remember. I had a great time with my new friends! A month ago I wondered if I would do anything to celebrate my day or have anyone to share it with. On Saturday I had more than 15 people to celebrate it with. Pretty amazing. I’m so incredibly happy about each and everyone of my new people -they are the greatest people out there!

We started our night off at a lovely, charming little bar/restaurant at the Annex called the Greenroom. Then we went to a friends’ place, and from there to another great club, to which we, yet again, got in for free! At the bar, I got 3 free drinks from men I didn’t even know and a rose from a mystery someone… that never happens back home! The music was good, and we ended up dancing and having fun till the wee hours of the night.

What made me happiest today was to open up my email this morning, and see so many messages from friends and family. Thank you all for your birthday wishes! Knowing that I have so many amazing friends back home waiting for me, is the best birthday gift I could have. I miss you all!

It’s raining men, hallelujah!!! January 30, 2008

Nah, just kidding. I wish it was, though. In actuality, it’s raining cats and dogs outside. I walked home after my class, and within those 5 minutes, I was soaked! Not fun at all. I wonder if we’ll have snow for Shrove Tuesday. Otherwise I won’t be able to reminish and maybe even replicate all of the things that go on in Ullanlinnanmäki during that awesome day…

Anyone hungry? January 8, 2008

You cannot get hungry here. The campus is filled with restaurants and cafes. There’s pretty much anything you can imagine: Subway, Wendy’s, Tim Horton’s, Second Cup, Great Canadian Bagel, sushi, chinese, greek food, falafels, you name it. My favourite place is called Berries & Bloom -they have both, a salad and a fruit bar. You pick out anything you want from their delicious buffet (watermelon, pineapple, grapes, strawberries or tens of different kinds of salads), and you pay 75 cents per 100 grams (50 cents in Euro). They also sell delicious, freshly squeezed smoothies there… you know where I’ll be visiting a lot!

Grocery stores are a thing themselves. Although there aren’t any at the campus, there are a couple of big ones right outside it. Anything you imagine, you can get from these stores. The veggie and the fruit sections are amazing, everything is cheaper than in Finland and the variety and the quality is incredible. You can buy fresh lettuce or ready-made salad in a plastic bag, buy some other fresh veggies, and voila, you have a cheap but delicious salad! The salad dressings are delicious, too… (and you do get everything in low fat or even fat free!)

The interesting thing is the size of everything. All containers and both, juice and milk cartons are huge -they hardly come in one litre cartons! I guess that explains the size of my fridge as well! It’s bigger than the one at my parents’!

I still feel excited about all the delicious stuff that you either cannot or would not buy in Finland. I have my cupboards filled with mac and cheese, bagels and cream cheese, peanut butter, muesli bars, cheddar cheese and all kinds of fruit and veggies. The thing that I missed the most was a margarine brand you cannot get elsewhere. The reason I missed it? It’s called ‘I can’t believe it’s not butter’!