Proud Finn September 26, 2009

I made my very first appearance as an Embassy of Finland intern at the 2009 Euro Night last weekend. The Euro Night is a concept created by the French Embassy here – it is a chance for the European countries to introduce their food and drinking -culture to the Americans and to the folks here in D.C. This time around, 21 countries were there, offering free food and drinks for over 2000 people!

We had been prepared pretty well for the night, and everything went very smoothly. We set up our beautiful stand with Marimekko -tablecloths and other Finnish design. The ambassador’s chef had prepared delicious little rye breads with smoked salmon mousse, mushroom pasties, and berry soup… people loved the food and the night really was a success. Us, interns, sported the Finnish national costumes…and we really felt like some kind of celebrities, because people were asking us to pose in photos throughout the night. Good times, indeed.

Never before have I been as proud of my nationality as that night. It was the first time I didn’t feel like I needed to “hide” where I was from, but instead, I felt proud and lucky to be a Finn and to be able to introduce a little bit of Finland to these hungry Americans. As we opened the Finlandia vodka -bar later, we had hundreds of people lining up to get a shot or a drink of the famous vodka.

As D.C. is such an international city, and feels more European than American due to all of the embassies, different kinds of people and the structure of and the buildings in the city, I feel like being a Finn here is rather cool than not-cool. Everyone seems to fit here, and all the nationalities are embraced. What finnishess has become to denote to me in the last few weeks here, is, most of all, freedom, green values, purity, good and free education, and safety. Above all, however, I feel that I can proudly be a Finn – an internationally oriented one – someone, who represents Finland and Finns here in D.C. It is a privilege, really, to be here, and to work at the Embassy. It’s easily forgotten in the busy day routine of mine, but I do cherish and embrace every moment.

When there’s nothing to say November 5, 2007

Last week I bragged about not catcing the flu and wondered why I had been so healthy. Well, I was dead wrong to wonder out loud because a few days after I caught the flu myself. I also started telling my friends stories about how I used to lose my voice as a youngster when suffering from the flu -how I would wind up voiceless for several days, using signs and writing (and whispering, which is strictly forbidden when sick like that) for communication. Wrong again! I haven’t been without a voice for years and now, in the middle of all the work and hurry, I lost my voice.

It’s actually pretty demanding being without a voice. After several attempts to tell people that you cannot speak, you end up having to have to utter something nevertheless. Although I have nothing against being quiet and I do enjoy silence at times, too, this is not fun. It’s hard enough not being able to sing along to my favourite songs, but it’s extremely restrictive being voiceless. There’s so little one can actually do.

I must admit I feel handicapped like this, but I also know this will go away within the next few days and I’ll be able to speak again. And if you think of this in a larger way, it’s nothing compared to people who can never, even if they wanted to, utter a word out loud. In that sense, I’m lucky.

At times like these, I remember how much I love talking and singing. And how much I talk and sing. Maybe some of my friends enjoy the fact that I’m finally quiet for even a little while…

Happy, happy – joy, joy May 30, 2007

I feel incredibly giddy and joyful at the moment. Life is good. I can’t stop smiling, and there are no words to really explain where all of these feelings are coming from. I guess it is just the mixture of everything that has happened to me recently, life just feels great right now. Nothing major has really happened to me, it’s just the littlest things that make a difference.

Last year at this time I thought my life couldn’t get any better. But it has. Here are a few reasons why I feel so happyish at the moment:

School is out for a few months. I finished my bachelor’s degree and I feel like I’ve finally accomplished something in terms of studying. I have incredible friends in my life, people that thorougly understand and know me, people that I can relate to, people I can turn to, people that can turn to me. I took part in two amazing conferences, both of which enriched my life and enabled me to meet new people. I have the coolest job -I love it there and I could just work my days through. It’s summer! The weather is hot and sunny (well, was yesterday…). I will get a nice paycheck for working 76 hours in 3 weeks. Hmmm. My life just seems interesting and fun at the moment and I will keep on smiling no matter what. There are tons of other things that have impacted me, things that are reasons behind this giddiness, but I don’t have room to mention all of them.

Most of all, however, I feel serene, relaxed, and complete inside. And in the end of the day, that’s all that matters.

Cheers for life!

Moments of Happiness May 15, 2007

The moments of happiness…
We had the experience but missed the meaning,
And approach to the meaning restores the experience
In a different form, beyond any meaning
We can assign to happiness…
…the past experience revived in the meaning
Is not the experience of one life only
But of many generations – not forgetting
Something that is probably quite ineffable…

T.S. Eliot

Didn’t feel like writing about anything in particular today, but I came upon this poem of a man I highly respect. May this be the word of the day when there’s nothing else to say.

I think I lost myself again May 5, 2007

“Suffocating, barely breathing, I think I lost myself again. Anything. Love me, hurt me. I think I lost myself again”, sings a wretched voice in one of my all-time favourite songs. It is extremely weird to feel this way when at the same time you feel like you’re on the top of the world. I thought that my life couldn’t get any better, but it has, without doubt, taken yet another few turns towards something good. In the last couple of weeks I’ve been incredibly happy and excited about my life. And I still am. This whole spring has been full of great stuff, amazing friends, and incredible things.

Although I feel satisfied and happy, I feel a bit lost. I don’t know why, though. Maybe it’s just because of today. Today I’ve felt a bit anxious and haven’t been able to concentrate on anything. Although I’ve done a huge amount of serious soul-searching lately, I cannot come up with anything to explain this sudden sensation. I’ve even experienced the entire scale of emotions lately, and that, if anything, should show me that I’m not lost, that I’m here, that I do exist.

But then again, I don’t, after all, have to go that deep into my soul to explain this. I just realized that this is the first day for weeks I’m totally by myself, in total silence, with no one around me. I don’t think I’ve lost myself, really, but I just haven’t spent enough time with myself lately, and that’s why I feel so weird. I didn’t see this day coming a year ago, but I have to say that I don’t enjoy being by myself that much anymore. I’ve become a people person with a capital letter and a socializer in every sense of the word. I know it’s good to be alone for a change, but I do miss the action, the excitement and the company. If I could, I would, without hesitation, call all of my people to come over and party with me.

And I do think it’s rather serious that I could picture myself sharing a flat with all of these friends. Me, the person who used to enjoy her privacy and loved living by herself. Mmmm, yep, I think I must have lost myself.

Home sweet home March 29, 2007

I went to my all-time favourite Finnish city yesterday -and secretly wished that I would be fulfilled with the warmth of it, with the coziness of its familiarity, and with the great things it reminds me of. Ever since my high school days were over, I have missed the city and everything it represents. I have looked forward to every visit over there, just because every time I go there, the good memories come back to me in an instant. Although I never really lived in the city (except as a baby), it used to feel like home.

Yesteday, however, things weren’t the same anymore. For the first time in years, the city didn’t feel like it used to. I had an ok time there, but that’s all. I didn’t really feel that comfortable there anymore; the city had lost its coziness, its familiarity, its significance to me. I was a bit puzzled at this. The city, although it used to have such a strong place in my heart, now only brought up nostalgic feelings, nothing else.

On my way back to my apartment, I was surprised to notice that when I got off the bus, I felt relieved. I looked at the surroundings with a smile on my face, and realized I belong here. Everything feels so cozy, so comfortable, so familiar here. I feel at home in this city. And I only needed a little trip back to my old comfort zone to realize it was not there anymore.

I really do love it here. It feels great to be home.

The Curse of Idols March 22, 2007

Ayayayay. Outs. That’s how one could sum up tonight’s Idols show. It was pure pain and torture to one’s ears. A horrifying experience, to tell you the truth. What made it even more humiliating is the fact that a Swedish Idol judge was there as well and I think we made a pretty bad impression on him. Once again, the Finns really sucked.

Every year I find myself cuddled up in the corner of my sofa (or rather, my bed…) watching the show whenever it’s on. And every year I become more and more pissed off and agry while watching it. This year seemed promising: a lot of reasonable and even a couple of really good singers took part in the big competition. There was a lot of potential, lots of people who could really sing.

I’ve been wondering why, year to year, the singers at the Finnish Idol suck. First I thought that really good and talented singers just didn’t take part because they thought taking part in a format like Idol would be humiliating and finding the easiest way out as an artist. But because this is already season 3 of Idols, I must say there has to be something else behind all of the pitchy singing and awful tones. I guess the Finnish people are the ones to blame. After all, they are the ones that vote for the singers and they are the ones that want to see pretty faces up on the stage rather than good and solid and musical singers.

I’m impatiently waiting for tonight’s results. It’s fun to see who is the one that has to go home tonight -the boy who is cocky but can sing, the guy who has a voice but cannot choose the right songs nor make his best on stage, the girl who looks good but cannot sing, or the girl that has potential but cannot control her voice and is plagued by her nervousness.

Then again, who am I to say anything. Unlike the finalists that were courageous enough to take part in the competition, I sit on my sofa judging them and wishing that I could one day show the world that I can really sing.

Translators at their best March 18, 2007

Translating can be tricky sometimes. When you are struggling with a translation, it’s great to notice that real translators make mistakes, too.

Late Night with Conan O’Brien:
“I throw root vegetables at them.”
“Heittelen heitä rivoilla vihanneksilla.”

Roswell:
“You’re all grown up.”
“Olet kasvanut kaikkialta.”

Clockstoppers:
Sairaanhoitaja:
“He seems fine, although his vitals are elevated.”
“Näyttää olevan kunnossa vaikkakin alapää hieman jäykkänä.”

Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
Keskustellaan siitä, kuka on maailman säälittävin:
“Oh! I come in second.”
“Voi! Tulen sekunnissa.”

Ballerinadokumentti:
“Leave her fuckin’ alone!”
“Anna hänen naida rauhassa!”

Miami Vice:
“It’s hard for me. Thinking undercover.”
“Se on vaikeaa minulle. Ajattelu peiton alla.”

What Rats Won’t Do:
“I’ve got cruise control.”
“Autossani on risteilylippujen tarkastuspiste.”

…well, I guess real translators can sometimes be plain stupid, too.

Out of reach March 14, 2007

Shit. My mobile’s battery just died. That wouldn’t usually be a problem, but good-for-me, I forgot my charger back at my parent’s. Who live 60 kilometers away. Yay. And the problem wouldn’t even be big if I had a Nokia. But no, I’ve settled for a different phone and that’s shitty.

I guess I’ll eventually figure out what to do and how to manage without my most important effect, but for now, I have to admit I feel really miserable. The worst thing about this is that while this happened, I realized how dependable I am on my phone. It’s irritating, really, to notice that there is so much you cannot do without that little thing. Suddenly, everything becomes so much harder. It is definitely frustrating to notice that your life pretty much circles around your mobile. It sounds pathetic, but that’s the way it is.

Strange sensations March 3, 2007

Tomorrow at this time I’ll be in London. Didn’t see it coming so fast. I’m thrilled to go, nevertheless -I’ve never been to England and I look forward to meeting the country that gave birth to English, the language I’ve fallen in love with. Lately I’ve been a bit anxious and restless for some reason. Today I realized why: Ever since I moved back to Finland, I’ve had a strange feeling every now and then, a feeling that I have to go someplace else, that I have to get out of Finland for a little while at least.

The cause of my anxiousness and restlessness? It’s time. Again. To get out of Finland. And I’m glad I actually get to go abroad. I love living in Finland, but having lived abroad has made me feel that I cannot stay put anywhere for too long. I guess that’s why I’m going on exchange, too. I hope this little trip will quench my thirst for some time.

London, be ready, here I come.